Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying we need to do
away with sex education. I think it is important that teenagers learn about sex
safety and responsibility. However we
need to take it a step further. Along with sex education we need to have
relationship education. We need to let children and teenagers know what good,
healthy relationships look like. How to maintain good relationships. Ways to
express affection without having to turn to the extreme of sex. And the funny
thing is, this can start at a fairly young age.
Of course I am not suggesting we give toddlers early
elementary schoolers “The Talk” But there are ways that you can teach them
about human relationships. But young children are sponges. They are constantly
observing and absorbing everything from the world around them. They will pick
up on things quite easily. So it should come as little surprise that they start
noticing the differences between girls and boys. Not only can they see it there
is plenty evidence to support that females and males are wired differently.
Even infants, who had had next to know influence from the world on gender
roles, show differences in behavior. We need to be open with children about the
differences and not brush it aside. Also don’t overreact when children discover
parts of their or other bodies. If you freak out, they will freak out and it
will make them more likely to dwell on it. Instead address it calmly and inform
them about what is appropriate and what is not in a way that they will
understand.
However, at this stage, I think the most important thing
we can do for our children is developing warm, respectful, close and loving
relationships with our children. I don’t know about you but I would much rather
my child come to me when they have a questions about sex or other important matters
rather than the internet or their friends. If we develop close relationships
with them when they are young, investing in a bank account of trust, and work
to maintain that relationship. They are for more likely to come to us when they
have questions than if there is a strained relationship.
As they get older teach them how to build good
relationships with friends. Learning to cooperate with them, to talk and
communicate, to be reliable and have trust, are all important parts of any
relationships. The best way to teach this, or any principle, is through your
own example. Letting your children see how you keep good relationships with
other people.
Let them know how to treat others well and what behavior
is and is not okay for people to treat them.
As they get older and start become more interested in
deeper relationships then it is time to move a step up. Usually a little bit
before. Again be open with them. Let them know before they puberty some of the
things they will be experiencing so they are not taken off guard or worried
about it. Teach them how to set boundaries, for themselves and for others.
There was one thing in our class reading that I would
like to end with. Is the formula for success. Thousands of studies show that individuals
are far more likely to live happy, fulfilled, successful lives if they follow a
simple formula. Education, marriage, sex, children. In that order. Teen mothers
and fathers are far more likely to struggle financially if they have a child
out of wed lock. A mother who has a child out of wed lock is a lot less likely
to be married. An education, even if just finishing high school, is far better
than no education. Though it is becoming an increasingly old fashioned and
unpopular idea the best way to guarantee that there are no children outside of
wedlock is to wait until you are married. Every child has the right to be born
in a family with a mother and father who love each other, love the child and
are committed to their family.
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